Happy Mother’s Day!
I’m touched by loving messages or memories of moms being honored by daughters and sons. My children have honored me well. But, for those of us who had less than adequate moms, this is for you. You are loved. R rated for realistic content.
To All of Us Who had Lousy Mothers, Cheers!
Here’s to us. Here’s to creating a life around the hollow left by their inability to mother. Here’s to loving our own children fiercely and well, despite all odds. Here’s to defying the limits our childhood, along with our parents, tried to set. Here’s to life, to love, to hope!
Brava to every one of us who survived. Who felt the pain of betrayal and loss. Who picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off, and started all over again. Many of us lost entire families, whole communities, affiliations with churches and other organizations. And yet, despite the crater left in the landscape of our new self, we faced forward, one step in front of the other, to create a new life. Congratulations on defying victimization, and emerging victors. Well done.
Mother’s Day rolls around every single year. It’s poignant. Bittersweet. I loved being loved by my mother, until she chose my father over the protection of me. And that hollowed out place in my soul exists to this very day. The beautiful tributes across social media make my heart stutter. It brings me up against what I lost each time. I’m happy for those lucky people. Generously happy. I celebrate their joy, the connections they share. I tuck my forever desire, to be loved as I love, away for another year.
Paradoxically, I love Mother’s Day. I adore being a Mom, a Nonna. I revel in my children’s ability to parent well. I am able to celebrate my daughter and daughter-in-law. I, too, am well celebrated by my son and family, and daughter and family, and my husband. We have special family traditions that warm the heart and satisfy this soul.
I am touched, deeply impressed, and take courage each day because of you. You chose to survive, thrive, to love well, and parent your sons and daughters in ways you wished you had been parented.
Today, I honor you, Moms who are daughters of less than adequate mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to you!