Sunrise yesterday morning saved me from a headlong plunge into despair. A gift from the universe. My mood swung from disbelief to hope, but skittered off center at the drop of a hat. My husband’s cancer is on the move again. A misogynist will occupy the white house. I’m pushing the boulder of my life’s work uphill against a country’s general disinterest in our newest national epidemic – sexual abuse. And a prissy Victorian era woman wrote a lousy review that says my story is too graphic. Were she to write it, it would embody decorum. On top of that, my husband snapped at me this … [Read more...]
The Cost of Following Your Heart
Some decisions cost more in the not making of them, than the making of them. I wrote The Fifth Sister in an effort to encourage, support, and empower the 42 million of us in the US who were sexually abused as children. I didn’t make that number up. It’s a stat from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) as of 2012. Forty-two million. I’m pretty sure that number has gone up, not down. Back to the decision. I turned down a major TV network – twice. Their viewership boasts 83% of American households. I still shiver internally to have made this choice. Why? In April, as The Fifth Sister … [Read more...]
Jewel Box of the Mind
Recently, a lovely woman friend of mine received difficult health news. As she struggled with her new realities, she wrote she hoped to discover "...the grace of innocence and the lack of resentment at being denied what I had before." Finding joy in each moment would help keep her spirits afloat, she said. I responded that memories give me joy. They’re like jewels. I sent a picture of her singing in our home. Herein lies my backstory. I have a jewel box – of the mind. In it nestle diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, pearls, and jade. There are simple pieces, and exotic ones. Each jewel … [Read more...]
The Bomb of Molestation: What To Do If It Hits You.
It’s incendiary, the bomb of incest or molestation. One moment life as you know it is sailing along, the next it has exploded before your very eyes. In a state of shock, you wonder what just happened, or if what just happened really did happen. Surely it’s a dream – a nightmare – and you’ll wake soon. Only it isn’t, and you won’t. We talk with great empathy about the victim of this crime, and they deserve every moment of it. They will need loved, nurtured, guided, and cared for on their path to resilient survivorship. But this horror has a ripple affect across the layers of family. There … [Read more...]
How I Outsmart My Inner Critic, & 4 Steps to Help You Do the Same
I recently had an unhappy night, filled with restless moments and memories. The consequences of decisions I made decades ago, lapped at my feet. I divorced my children’s father, and removed grandparent rights. My choices were necessary. They were protective. They gave both me and my children safety. Yet, those choices inserted recently, despite my fervent desire for them not to. When ugly comes to one you love, one you’d lay your life down for, the chink in the armor opens quickly to poke at an old bruise to your heart. And that’s when the old voices played a litany ticker-taped across my … [Read more...]
The National Epidemic No One Wants to Talk About
I remember one summer when my children and I were in the mountains of Montana. Our cabin was among eight or ten structures that had been built to mine nickel during WWII. A river ran through the narrow valley. The water was clean, frigid, and fishing was good. Grandpa T had chosen this morning to take the kids fishing, but first, one must have worms. And the best worms were found in and around manure. My kids stepped back, horrified expressions on their faces. He insisted they get their hands dirty. The brook trout were delicious. This down-to-earth mountain man was right. We are going to … [Read more...]
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