My sister Carly called in the calm of autumn’s evening light a few weeks ago. She was driving through smoke-filled air on her way home from work. It’s been a brutal year for fires, with British Columbia burns topping three million acres, Montana over one million, then Northern California’s fires devastated densely populated areas. “What month and year was Michelle’s baby born? And do we know gender?” I’m used to these out of the blue questions and get right to answering. Hellos will come later – often with a laugh – “oh – sorry – hi” inserted along the way. “Let’s see. I’ll need to think … [Read more...]
The Paradox of Safety
Last night, as daylight gave way to dusk and the river quieted, I had an out-of-nowhere moment so profound I wept: one moment absorbing twilight, the next in tears. And though this will surprise many of you who know my family’s history, I desperately missed my father. Dad was crazy smart. Genius IQ. He was a mesmerizing storyteller. A lift you up and away speaker. He adored discourse that challenged. I loved engaging those dialogues, for it was one arena where we could tackle matters of intelligence and not devolve into emotionalism. These lively discussions linger as some of my very best … [Read more...]
9 Life Lessons Learned While Paddleboarding
Each morning before dawn, or maybe at dawn, if my internal clock didn’t get me up, I make a cup of coffee as I prepare for my morning paddle. There is ritual to it. Sunscreen, whistle, hat, sunglasses, carry paddle and board to, and then into, the river. And that predawn river? Utter glass. The other morning I was awakened by my two grandsons. The older one touched my shoulder and said, “Nonna, look! The water’s glass. We’ve got to go get on it.” We did. He’s nine, the glass whisperer, so … here are 9 life lessons I’ve learned on my Stand Up Paddle Board, otherwise known as … [Read more...]
Mother’s Day Without Mom
Mother’s Day is a sweet day for me. I am well celebrated by my children and husband. I reside in the gentle beauty of my greatest role on earth – mother to my son and daughter. It remains the finest work I have ever done. It is bittersweet for some. I’ve seen Facebook posts honoring moms, posts honoring moms who are no longer with us, those honoring stepmoms, and women who took on the role of mom. Then, there is what isn’t said, which speaks volumes. There are moms we could not celebrate today. There are those for whom the wounds are fresh, and those of us who have lived with loss and … [Read more...]
The Parable of The Pack
High on an Ethiopian plateau nestled the village of Kiramu. My home. Governed by a chieftain, this small thatch hut community hosted a Saturday market, had a flourmill, a weaver, and my best friend. Ethiopia raised me. Her culture taught me joy, family, the respect of the elderly, the richness of history, and offered safety. It was to these people I fled when being harmed at home. It is my African tribe I credit for stability as I sought to navigate my American tribe. Villages exist within a culture and tribe. There are customs inherent within them. My American village was a conservative … [Read more...]
The Best Laid Plans …
We are homeless. Monday the movers came and boxed our entire home in preparation for our Tuesday move to Lower Twin Lake. Cupboards were bared, beds dismantled, all but laptops safely stowed in movable containers. Our crew would reassemble our bed the next day in the new home, but John and I had each packed a small suitcase with a couple days of clothing, toiletries, pajamas and slippers – oh, and we tucked a coffee mug, wine glass and a bottle of wine into the duffel. We know what’s important, right? Tuesday… well, Tuesday just needs a ‘do-over’ or maybe not, because we find … [Read more...]
The Only Way Out – Is Through
Last fall the river invited me to play. I fetched my paddle board, opted against a wetsuit given the sunny day, strapped the leash to my right ankle, and took off. It was a perfect morning. Fluffy clouds dotted an azure sky, the air was calm, the water mirror smooth. I headed east, against the current. The normal zen that comes with being at one with nature took hold, and I plied the river in complete solitude. Forty minutes into my river run I reversed direction for home and stared with disbelief at the sky. Dark clouds had replaced fluffy ones. Fifty yards ahead, wind skiffed water into … [Read more...]
I Miss Statesmanship, Honor, Truth and Dignity
The first lady said, “This is sexually predatory behavior…” referring to the bragging about sexually assaulting women. Meryl Streep said, “Disrespect invites disrespect,” noting that when the man who holds the highest office in our land is disrespectful, he gives permission to others to do likewise. I am deeply troubled that my fellow Americans chose a man whom I hope our children and grandchildren won’t emulate. 2016 began as a year of promise for me. My memoir was released, I engaged in a wonderful book tour and I was seven weeks away from home. I enjoyed family, friends, … [Read more...]
Airspeed and Altitude
Sunrise yesterday morning saved me from a headlong plunge into despair. A gift from the universe. My mood swung from disbelief to hope, but skittered off center at the drop of a hat. My husband’s cancer is on the move again. A misogynist will occupy the white house. I’m pushing the boulder of my life’s work uphill against a country’s general disinterest in our newest national epidemic – sexual abuse. And a prissy Victorian era woman wrote a lousy review that says my story is too graphic. Were she to write it, it would embody decorum. On top of that, my husband snapped at me this … [Read more...]
The Cost of Following Your Heart
Some decisions cost more in the not making of them, than the making of them. I wrote The Fifth Sister in an effort to encourage, support, and empower the 42 million of us in the US who were sexually abused as children. I didn’t make that number up. It’s a stat from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) as of 2012. Forty-two million. I’m pretty sure that number has gone up, not down. Back to the decision. I turned down a major TV network – twice. Their viewership boasts 83% of American households. I still shiver internally to have made this choice. Why? In April, as The Fifth Sister … [Read more...]
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