Pope Francis compares child sexual abuse to human sacrifice. Think about that for a moment. The comparison is appropriate. But it’s worse than that. We who were abused by leaders in the church continue to live. We didn’t die of our injuries on the altar of sacrifice. Our hearts still beat a tattered pulse. Our brain still holds the truth, and the body always keeps the score. The horror of abuse is followed by a lifetime of adapting. Here are some things I know: I know we can’t un-ring that bell. It happened. I know that Jesus left the ninety-nine in search of the one. I know that … [Read more...]
The Wounded
I am standing on a 10 meter Olympic diving platform. Suddenly, there is a roaring in my ears, a cacophony of sound; voice, noise, high pitched screaming. I clap my hands over my ears – and jump. Fear claws at my throat as I plummet toward the water. Impact is disorienting. Water churns at being violently disturbed, and then? Utter silence, a muted existence, like I imagine a cocoon, or womb. Until the silent screams begin – open mouthed blasts of heart pain – for no one to hear. They reverberate only in my mind. Inevitably I float up to the surface. When I break through the waterline, the sun … [Read more...]
The Buck Stops Where, Exactly?
President Harry S. Truman’s Oval Office desk contained a plaque, set on a walnut base facing his guests, inscribed with: The Buck Stops Here! Shouldn’t that be the Southern Baptist Convention’s working principle, on behalf of its 15 million members? Enter the endless loop: a conversation, or course of action incapable of resolution. Endless loops exist in marriages where partners circle round to the same old argument; they exist in organizations without clear standards of practice; they exist in a denomination whose leadership lobs a crisis back to the local congregation, citing local … [Read more...]
The Perfect Storm
A perfect storm is an event in which a rare combination of circumstances drastically aggravates the event. It was Friday afternoon. Preoccupied and off balance by difficult news about my injured eye, I sought equilibrium in small things. John brought a photo I had ordered in from the mailbox, and left to do a short errand run. No problem. I took a frame from the wall, mounted the new photo, and carefully rehung it. I stepped back to see if it was level, and had my first, and hopefully last, sight related accident. Because I have no peripheral vision I did not see the chair. As I stepped … [Read more...]
Falling Into Community
What cruel twist of fate would offer up sight following a catastrophic wounding of my eye, and then take it away? Seven weeks after saving my eye and regaining vision, a shadow began at the upper left corner and ate away at the light, inexorably slipping down and across vision like a total eclipse of the sun. This can’t be happening, I thought. I’m merely tired, and need to rest. Seven weeks ago I was sightless, but now – or before the eclipse began – I was actually seeing across our beloved river to the mountains beyond, if a bit blurrily. I was grateful. In awe of a body’s ability … [Read more...]
Razed By Lions – Laura’s TEDx Talk
Razed by Lions – Laura’s TEDx Talk is live! Please share this inspirational, informative talk about transcending trauma with your constituency, family and friends. 42 million adults in the United States today live with the aftermath of personal trauma. They may, or may not, talk about it. This will offer them hope. Live from the TED stage … [Read more...]
My Husband, the New York Cabbie.
To say John drives like a New York Cabbie is, well … generous. Donning a head traction device ought to be mandatory when positioning oneself in the passenger seat. Weaving in and out of traffic is a euphemism for the pinball machine projectile that is my husband’s vehicle. Truly, if lift off were to occur in relationship to the distance from a rear bumper to our front one, we’d be airborne most of the time. On a two-lane road, the centerline merely denotes the middle of the road. Lanes? Shmaynes. Best to straddle said line as it leads unerringly – um – forward. Curvy mountain roads offer his … [Read more...]
Happy Thanksgiving!
With grateful hearts, here is our gift to you ... (John and Laura performing "Grateful") … [Read more...]
The Accident: “Why?” The Wrong Question
It was 4:30 pm on a Friday afternoon. TGIF. My grandboys and I were in high spirits. 25 water balloons were filled, tucked gently into bags and loaded into the trunk for launching from one end of a soccer field to the other. Seatbelts fastened, chattering excitedly, we drove under sullen gray clouds filled with the promise of rain. I tucked sunglasses into my purse. I wouldn’t need them this afternoon. How I wish the sun had been shining that day. Perhaps those glasses would have averted what was to come. The boys jumped from the car and we set up on one end of the field in a park … [Read more...]
On Worry
The knock on the door was innocuous enough. I scooted back from the dinner table and said, “hold that thought” to my son and mused as I walked to the door that I would make that Thai stir fry again. Worth it. “Laura?” a middle-aged, clean-cut fellow asked. “Yes?” “Consider yourself served.” He thrust a packet of papers at me, turned abruptly and hurried to the street. Time arrested, as in disbelief I scanned official documents stating that in this new state where I’d moved with my children, my ex-husband had filed suit against me yet again … unfit mother. He would settle for no … [Read more...]
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