We are homeless. Monday the movers came and boxed our entire home in preparation for our Tuesday move to Lower Twin Lake. Cupboards were bared, beds dismantled, all but laptops safely stowed in movable containers. Our crew would reassemble our bed the next day in the new home, but John and I had each packed a small suitcase with a couple days of clothing, toiletries, pajamas and slippers – oh, and we tucked a coffee mug, wine glass and a bottle of wine into the duffel. We know what’s important, right? Tuesday… well, Tuesday just needs a ‘do-over’ or maybe not, because we find … [Read more...]
The Only Way Out – Is Through
Last fall the river invited me to play. I fetched my paddle board, opted against a wetsuit given the sunny day, strapped the leash to my right ankle, and took off. It was a perfect morning. Fluffy clouds dotted an azure sky, the air was calm, the water mirror smooth. I headed east, against the current. The normal zen that comes with being at one with nature took hold, and I plied the river in complete solitude. Forty minutes into my river run I reversed direction for home and stared with disbelief at the sky. Dark clouds had replaced fluffy ones. Fifty yards ahead, wind skiffed water into … [Read more...]
I Miss Statesmanship, Honor, Truth and Dignity
The first lady said, “This is sexually predatory behavior…” referring to the bragging about sexually assaulting women. Meryl Streep said, “Disrespect invites disrespect,” noting that when the man who holds the highest office in our land is disrespectful, he gives permission to others to do likewise. I am deeply troubled that my fellow Americans chose a man whom I hope our children and grandchildren won’t emulate. 2016 began as a year of promise for me. My memoir was released, I engaged in a wonderful book tour and I was seven weeks away from home. I enjoyed family, friends, … [Read more...]
Airspeed and Altitude
Sunrise yesterday morning saved me from a headlong plunge into despair. A gift from the universe. My mood swung from disbelief to hope, but skittered off center at the drop of a hat. My husband’s cancer is on the move again. A misogynist will occupy the white house. I’m pushing the boulder of my life’s work uphill against a country’s general disinterest in our newest national epidemic – sexual abuse. And a prissy Victorian era woman wrote a lousy review that says my story is too graphic. Were she to write it, it would embody decorum. On top of that, my husband snapped at me this … [Read more...]
The Cost of Following Your Heart
Some decisions cost more in the not making of them, than the making of them. I wrote The Fifth Sister in an effort to encourage, support, and empower the 42 million of us in the US who were sexually abused as children. I didn’t make that number up. It’s a stat from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) as of 2012. Forty-two million. I’m pretty sure that number has gone up, not down. Back to the decision. I turned down a major TV network – twice. Their viewership boasts 83% of American households. I still shiver internally to have made this choice. Why? In April, as The Fifth Sister … [Read more...]
No Wake Zone
My oldest grandson and I have begun a rating system for boat wakes. This is important when riding a SUP (standup paddle board). There’s an art to taking a wake. Trust me on this. SUP boarders provide an endless supply of entertainment as we watch them down by the river following our workday. On a busy summer night with half a dozen boats along our stretch at any given time, SUPing is challenging at best. There are splashes, giggles, and many riders simply sit down and paddle. Occasionally someone loses his or her paddle in the fall. That’s a big no-no and makes for a long, slow doggy paddle … [Read more...]
Jewel Box of the Mind
Recently, a lovely woman friend of mine received difficult health news. As she struggled with her new realities, she wrote she hoped to discover "...the grace of innocence and the lack of resentment at being denied what I had before." Finding joy in each moment would help keep her spirits afloat, she said. I responded that memories give me joy. They’re like jewels. I sent a picture of her singing in our home. Herein lies my backstory. I have a jewel box – of the mind. In it nestle diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, pearls, and jade. There are simple pieces, and exotic ones. Each jewel … [Read more...]
Touching Air
In the predawn hush, I let myself out for my morning commune with the river. I want to see the sun rise over the mountains. I’ve gotten ready for my river run; sunblock, hat, sunglasses, whistle – mustn’t forget the whistle – and the smallest amount of swimwear possible. I want to feel air around me. I want to bathe myself in it, for it is the purest, surest way I know to both find, and free me. I pad across a dew-clad lawn, down the steps of the breakwater, and into the cool river. My SUP (stand up paddleboard) glides onto the surface. I’ve an ankle strap to keep me tethered, my paddle, … [Read more...]
To All of Us Who Had Lousy Mothers – Cheers!
Happy Mother’s Day! I’m touched by loving messages or memories of moms being honored by daughters and sons. My children have honored me well. But, for those of us who had less than adequate moms, this is for you. You are loved. R rated for realistic content. To All of Us Who had Lousy Mothers, Cheers! Here’s to us. Here’s to creating a life around the hollow left by their inability to mother. Here’s to loving our own children fiercely and well, despite all odds. Here’s to defying the limits our childhood, along with our parents, tried to set. Here’s to life, to love, to hope! Brava … [Read more...]
For Elsie – In Memoriam
The Sister Unit is down by one. I lost one of my sisters last week. She was a year younger than I. Losing a sister is different than losing a parent. I’ve lost one of each. It sucker punched me. The phone call left me stunned into silence as I searched frantically for my voice. How? Why? Please tell me. Gone? I talked to her last week. We exchanged texts over the weekend. I hung up the phone, told my husband, and curled inward unable to find words even for myself to express the impact of the death of my sister. We weathered so much together. For those of you who don’t know our story, we … [Read more...]
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