We are homeless. Monday the movers came and boxed our entire home in preparation for our Tuesday move to Lower Twin Lake. Cupboards were bared, beds dismantled, all but laptops safely stowed in movable containers. Our crew would reassemble our bed the next day in the new home, but John and I had each packed a small suitcase with a couple days of clothing, toiletries, pajamas and slippers – oh, and we tucked a coffee mug, wine glass and a bottle of wine into the duffel. We know what’s important, right? Tuesday… well, Tuesday just needs a ‘do-over’ or maybe not, because we find … [Read more...]
Airspeed and Altitude
Sunrise yesterday morning saved me from a headlong plunge into despair. A gift from the universe. My mood swung from disbelief to hope, but skittered off center at the drop of a hat. My husband’s cancer is on the move again. A misogynist will occupy the white house. I’m pushing the boulder of my life’s work uphill against a country’s general disinterest in our newest national epidemic – sexual abuse. And a prissy Victorian era woman wrote a lousy review that says my story is too graphic. Were she to write it, it would embody decorum. On top of that, my husband snapped at me this … [Read more...]
Jewel Box of the Mind
Recently, a lovely woman friend of mine received difficult health news. As she struggled with her new realities, she wrote she hoped to discover "...the grace of innocence and the lack of resentment at being denied what I had before." Finding joy in each moment would help keep her spirits afloat, she said. I responded that memories give me joy. They’re like jewels. I sent a picture of her singing in our home. Herein lies my backstory. I have a jewel box – of the mind. In it nestle diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, pearls, and jade. There are simple pieces, and exotic ones. Each jewel … [Read more...]
Touching Air
In the predawn hush, I let myself out for my morning commune with the river. I want to see the sun rise over the mountains. I’ve gotten ready for my river run; sunblock, hat, sunglasses, whistle – mustn’t forget the whistle – and the smallest amount of swimwear possible. I want to feel air around me. I want to bathe myself in it, for it is the purest, surest way I know to both find, and free me. I pad across a dew-clad lawn, down the steps of the breakwater, and into the cool river. My SUP (stand up paddleboard) glides onto the surface. I’ve an ankle strap to keep me tethered, my paddle, … [Read more...]
To All of Us Who Had Lousy Mothers – Cheers!
Happy Mother’s Day! I’m touched by loving messages or memories of moms being honored by daughters and sons. My children have honored me well. But, for those of us who had less than adequate moms, this is for you. You are loved. R rated for realistic content. To All of Us Who had Lousy Mothers, Cheers! Here’s to us. Here’s to creating a life around the hollow left by their inability to mother. Here’s to loving our own children fiercely and well, despite all odds. Here’s to defying the limits our childhood, along with our parents, tried to set. Here’s to life, to love, to hope! Brava … [Read more...]
How I Outsmart My Inner Critic, & 4 Steps to Help You Do the Same
I recently had an unhappy night, filled with restless moments and memories. The consequences of decisions I made decades ago, lapped at my feet. I divorced my children’s father, and removed grandparent rights. My choices were necessary. They were protective. They gave both me and my children safety. Yet, those choices inserted recently, despite my fervent desire for them not to. When ugly comes to one you love, one you’d lay your life down for, the chink in the armor opens quickly to poke at an old bruise to your heart. And that’s when the old voices played a litany ticker-taped across my … [Read more...]
