The other day my daughter and I were talking – babies, weather, conditions of the heart, and exercise. I’d gone out on the water that day (Stand-Up-Paddleboard – SUP) for nearly two hours. She said, “I think I’d be bored.” Neither she nor I much like swimming because we find it boring, although we know people love it. Or indoor stuff, like treadmills or stationary anything. You’re not going anywhere, right? At least it feels that way to her and me. But the next morning I was out my board, and I doubted me. Should I be bored? Was there a better way? And for a few minutes, I was impatient … [Read more...]
The Only Way Out – Is Through
The other day the river invited me to play. I fetched my paddle board, opted against a wetsuit given the sunny day, strapped the leash to my right ankle, and took off. It was a perfect morning. Fluffy clouds dotted an azure sky, the air was calm, the water mirror smooth. I headed east, against the current. The normal zen that comes with being at one with nature took hold, and I plied the river in complete solitude. Forty minutes into my river run I reversed direction for home and stared with disbelief at the sky. Dark clouds had replaced fluffy ones. Fifty yards ahead, wind skiffed water … [Read more...]
What about the Duggar Girls?
I confess, I had to look up who Jim Bob Duggar was. I didn’t know the Duggar name. I’d never watched 19 Kids and Counting. Yet, the moment I read In Touch Weekly’s breaking story, my heart flew to the Duggar girls. I’ve been interviewed by In Touch Weekly and Entertainment Tonight Insider, and read commentary by people I admire, and by some I don’t. I’ve asked questions, and answered others. Much is headlined about Josh Duggar and his parents – but I’ve seen little about the girls, other than that they were in fact, molested. What about these girls? I was asked by the reporter from In … [Read more...]
One With Courage
What a remarkable place to be – at one with courage. You and courage intertwined. It isn’t easy, and you aren’t sure you are courageous, yet. I don’t think there’s a magical moment when you become one with courage. It comes over time, although sometimes a pivotal event triggers a crisis, and that crisis becomes your “dangerous opportunity” to step into courage. “Tiger” was a game my dad played with us as children. It was an indoor game. He would drop down on his hands and knees, blindfolded, and for all intents and purposes, it was a game of hide and seek. We all had to play. It was a … [Read more...]
I’m In a Kickass Kind of Mood
I’m in a kickass kind of mood. Bring. It. On. Do not mess with a child. I can talk about life after child abuse, tell my story, empower adults to courage as they put their life back together following an adverse childhood, be a catalyst for open forum discussions on this national problem – but when I hear another child has been abused, it’s visceral. After hearing a new story, I hurt in empathy for this child, experience concern for the family and their “new normal,” and then? I feel downright hostile toward the abuser. I allow myself the freedom to do mental mayhem. Trust me, I have … [Read more...]
The Madness Stops Here
There is a saying, “The madness stops here.” You’ll hear me say that often. The madness stops here. It means that my background is not my children’s. It means, for my son and daughter, incest stopped at my generation. The tangled web we humans weave has emotional tentacles far more entwined than an octopus. The statistics on child sexual abuse are overwhelming. 1 in 3 girls molested by age 18. 1 in 5 boys. The median age for molestation is 11 – 13. 85% of molesters are family members. How are we going to address this with any degree of success? What can one person do? The madness stops … [Read more...]
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